I don’t want to leave him. I love to hold his hand and feel his warmth. And even if he looks as though he is sleeping, I tell him over and over again how much I love him and am proud of him. He expressed those words to me daily growing up and I hope it encourages him to hear them from me.
It is very difficult to not hear his voice. I desperately want him to tell me how much he loves me. I want to hear his contagious laughter. I want to feel the safety of his embrace. Those things are no longer, so this morning when I bent down and he kissed me I captured that moment in my mind. It will be something I treasure forever.
We were able to spend some time with dad this evening. He can barely open his eyes. I feel as though it must take all of his strength to keep them open and to be present with us. When he looks in our eyes I feel as though he is soaking us in trying to remember us in case it is the last time he sees us in this lifetime. Every moment is precious and I am grateful for them all.
1 comment:
Stacy,
What you have written here in these last few posts (especially the one from today, which doesn't seem to be showing right now), is breathtaking. I wish there was something I could say, but I know there isn't. I just wanted you to know that I am reading. And I am tremendously blessed by the beauty that is shining through you, even in the midst of such pain.
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